Super Bowl Running Diary

For a more refined, edited version of this column, see this Wednesday’s issue of The Stylus. But if you like your SportsMeister articles raw, with no censorship or space limits, then you found the right story!

Super Bowl Running Diary

I kept a running diary during Sunday’s game.

11:32 a.m. — Super Bowl Sunday is here. I smell like the weekend — not a great thing, by the way. But with a cup of coffee and a breath of fresh air, I realize that the holiday has finally come: it’s game-day baby!

1:12 p.m. — But not without some work first, off to the office. Enjoy the SUNYAC standings on page 35, took me like a halfie.

2:35 p.m. — Roommates did a great job of cleaning the house while I was at work, but the conclusion was made that we didn’t have enough furniture for the number of expected guests. Naturally, we decided to move the coffee table against the wall, and put a mattress in the center of the room. Throw in some pillows, some blankets; well, that’s a stew baby!

4:18 p.m. — Just put in the food order, and it was a doozie! Not only did we call in two sheets of ‘za from Mark’s Pizzeria, but we phoned our man Jimmy Z for fifty $.50 wings. The collective excitement in the room was only lost when FOX cued the Maroon 5. What a snoozer. I know it’s early pre-game afternoon warm-ups, but it’s still the Super Bowl mang.

4:47 p.m. — Every year we fill up our white board with really stupid gambling ideas we can bet on the game, and this year is no different. Some of the best from this year’s list: The first player to score’s jersey number (over/under 32.5), Which beer company will have the first commercial, and what song the Black Eyed Peas will open to at halftime. But the best one is the “If Aaron Rodgers has a rushing touchdown, what celebration does he perform? General attitude in the room is feeling his trendy championship belt move, but I think if he sees a group of cheeseheads in the first few rows he’s going to go for the leap into the stands sort of Lambeau-esque.

4:58 p.m. — President Obama and Bill O’Reilly and are having a pretty heated discussion here. At first I was upset that my Super Bowl Sunday pre-game was being interrupted by something as outrageous as the current state of our nation. Then I read that last sentence and realized that it’s probably for the best that FOX is airing this interview instead of more Maroon 5 (Yikes!). My personal favorite part of the interview was this exchange:

O’Reilly: So who do you want to win?
Obama: After my Bears were knocked out, it didn’t matter.
O’Reilly (violently): So you don’t care?!

… We’ll do it live!

Q1 10:54 — (yawning) Oh did the game start?

Q1 4:56 — Between the dropped passes, muffed punt, and sloppy play, we’re in for a real exciting Super Bowl here! But honestly, these players can’t be blamed for being a little jittery in the first quarter; playing in this game is unlike anything many of these players have done, and most Super Bowls do start pretty slow and boring, and it appears that this one is on that path as well. By the way, I’ve switched over from real time to game time. Try to keep up.

Q1 3:44 — Packers score first with a 29-yard strike from Rodgers to Nelson, GB 7 – PIT 0. Although a part of me is excited to see the Packers out to an early lead, the more competitive side in me is disappointed to see I’m a disappointing 0-4 on our gambling board while our leader already has 4 (doh!).

Q1 3:20 — Big Ben throws an interception that gets returned 37 yards by Nick Collins for a touchdown, GB 14 – PIT 0. Certainly not the start that Roethlisberger and the Steelers wanted, but if anybody knows how to creep up on unsuspecting, unwilling defenses, it’s Ben Roethlisberger; the guy is just a natural creeper.

Q1 0:00 — End of the first quarter and our score is still GB 14 – PIT 0. Hopefully the game will be less one-sided as we move forward. Because aside from a few exciting commercials (Doritos were the highlight of the first) it has been a pretty dry first quarter. But remember that Patriots-Giants Super Bowl a few years ago that was really amazing? You do? Awesome, but do you remember the first 3 1/2 quarters of it? Pretty snoozeworthy. Moral of the story; we got to save our energy for the second half.

Q2 11:08 — Finally some points for the Steelers as kicker Shaun Susham nails in a field goal from 33 yards outs. GB 14 – PIT 3

Q2 6:45 — Energy in the room is low.  Could be a result of the matress and pillows in the center of the room, it appears people are getting too comfortable. But alas, a Steelers score would desperately pump some life into my friends who would look more like space cadets on a trip to Mars than a group of football fans watching the most anticipated game of the year. My friend Nicole, decked out in Steelers swag from head-to-toe, looks noticeably disturbed. Perhaps Pittsburgh pulls out some points here late in the half

Q2 2:24 — Jinxed ‘em! Rodgers hits Greg Jennings over the middle for a 21-yard touchdown pass as the Packers go up 21-3 with just two minutes left in the half. Basically, we’re one Roethlisberger-molestation joke away from seeing Nicole’s Steelers face paint be washed away with tears.

Q2 00:39 — I’m great at reverse jinxes! Just as I was typing that the Steelers were falling too far behind, they come out and drive down the field with ease, executing a near-perfect two minute drill capped off with an 8-yard touchdown pass from Roethlisberger to Hines Ward. GB 21 – PIT 10 going into the half. Hey, at least it’s a game, right?

Halftime — Who’s that creepy white guy in the Black Eyed Peas? You know, that guy with the long, slicked black hair, kind of looks like Professor Snape. What’s he bring to the table?

Halftime — It must be Snape! Who else has the magical ability to let their suit-light up whilst simultaneously appearing to be the most awkward person ever on one of the world’s biggest annual stages? That’s the Half-Blood Prince!

Halftime — Disappointed to see Slash, one of the greatest guitarists of all-time, shredding on the axe next to a starving alley cat. It’s just that — wait a second! That’s not a stray cat lurking in an ally! Why — why that’s Fergie!

Halftime — “Buurrrrrriiiightttt baaaaaluuuuuuuuu ssssckuuuuuuiiiighhhhh,” an ally cat wails to the tune of Guns ‘N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child of Mine.”

Halftime— An Usher sighting! This would be more exciting if he wasn’t going to go down in history as the “guy who discovered Justin Bieber.” I wish I was kidding, I like Usher.

Halftime — Grades of the performance; Singing (C-), Dancing (B), Lights & Effects (A); overall, a solid (B-) from the Black Eyed Peas. It wasn’t great, but it was some much needed life that the Super Bowl halftime show. It’s just blatantly obvious at this point that the Black Eyed Peas should limit their live performances. The alley cat formerly known as Fergie really needs to just stay in a studio and off of a stage.

Halftime — And yes, I’ve just realized I’ve analyzed the halftime show 10x more critically than any of the plays or drives in the first half. Moving on…

Q3 12:54 — Packers receiver James Jones runs an extended slant that has the ball bounce right off his fingertips. The drop is especially disappointing for Packers fans as he appeared to have plenty of space to run had he caught the ball. In fact, announcer Troy Aikman said, “He… he had a real chance to score there …. (pause) ….. He could have made a big play.” Troy Aikman is proof of the concussion problem in the NFL.

Q3 12:39 — A curious commercial combination that featured Ozzy Osbourne and Justin Bieber in which the punch-line was when Bieber held up a phone and said “Now Bieber Fever on 6G.” Then it cut to Sharon Osbourne asking, “What’s 6G?” and Ozzy asking, “What’s a Bieber?” And if you thought that was hilarious…. wait for it….. Bieber, disguised as a custodian behind Ozzy, added “Not sure, kind of looks like a girl though.” I have a (Bieber) Fever! And the only prescription is more cowbell!

Q3 10:19 — A great block by stereotypical looking lineman No. 1 that allowed Steelers’ running back Rashard Mendenhall to pound it in from eight yards for a rushing touchdown. GB 21 – PIT 17. A four point game with a quarter and 1/2 left? That’s a stew baby!

Q3 10:19 – Commercial for the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Basically it appears we don’t know anything other than Johnny Depp is back, acting a fool, as everybody’s favorite rum-swilling pirate. Do we really need to know anything else about it?

Q3 8:03 — Steelers got the ball back, and it’s 3rd and short. But what’s a bigger concern for Packers fans is that cornerback Charles Woodson is yet to return to the game after hurting his shoulder at the end of the first half. Woodson is an emotional leader on the defense as one of the season veterans, but more importantly, he’s their lock-down corner guy. With him out of the game, the passing lanes could definitely open up for Big Ben and the Steelers.

Q3 6:42 — This Steelers drive is dragging on and it appears the collective energy in the room has reverted to 1st quarter sleep mode.

Q3 4:29 — Steelers Sulsham kicker tries a 52-yard field goal that is way off the mark. My only question afterwards is who on earth could have done worse on that attempt. My short list includes Ellsworth, Steven Hawking, and Larry the Cable Guy

Q3 4:29 — Is Eminem planning on being a public representative of Detroit now, or is he just running out of money and looking for a quick buck? He would have told Chrysler to f*ck themselves if they offered him that commercial idea in 2002.

Q3 2:26 — You can hear the disdain in his voice when Joe Buck tries to pitch Glee in between plays. You can tell her really, really doesn’t want to do that.

Q3 00:37 — The Packers haven’t moved the ball well since their third touchdown midway through the second quarter. Something tells me that Mike Tomlin put in some serious half-time adjustments for the Steelers. They’ve been lights out this quarter.

Q3 00:00 — Blame Friday Night Lights if you want, but I know you still hold up four fingers every time you watch a game enter the fourth quarter. *FOOOURRRRRR

Q4 15:00 — Getting those 4th quarter Super Bowl jitters! GB 21 – PIT 17. We’re at a point where it’s not even cliche to say “Anything could happen!”

Q4 11:57 — I continually jinx the idea of a tightly contested game. Rodgers just hit Jennings for an 8-yard touchdown pass, his third of the game. GB leads 28-17. Good thing Pittsburgh has a quarterback known for creeping up on people right when they least expect it.

Q4 7:34 — Told you Big Ben could creep! He just slung a 25-yard pass to Mike Wallace that capped off a much-needed successful Steelers drive. To further signify the Steelers’ satisfying scoring surplus was the successfully converted 2-point conversion. GB 28 – PIT 25. Three point game with less than eight minutes left? Do you know what that is? That’s a stew baby!

Q4 2:35 — Great drive by the Packers here late in the second half. Right after the Steelers narrow their lead to three points, Green Bay moves the ball methodically down the field, killing over five minutes in the process.

Q4 2:09 — And you know I jinx everything. I typed “Great drive by the Packers” and then they fail to convert on third down. Kicker Mason Crosby knocks in a 23-yard field goal to give the Packers a 31-25 lead just before the two minute warning. Unfortunately I think I’ve exhausted all the Ben Roethlisberger creeper jokes that I wanted to make.

Q4 2:00 — Two minute warning! Which QB is going to be this year’s hero and who is going to be the Goat? Roethlisberger has been here before, and he looked OK as he threw that 15-yard pass to Heath Miller to give Pittsburgh fans some hope. Remember Steelers Nicole? She’s shaking.

Q4 1:10 — After a short 5-yard pass to Ward, Roethlisberger goes deep right for an incomplete pass. It’s 3rd and 5, but the Steelers got to go a lot further than five yards.

Q4 0:59 — Another incomplete….. 4th and 5 for the Steelers. If they don’t convert this, the Packers will be crowned champions….

Q4 0:55 — Roethlisberger drops back!

Q4 0:54 — Looks right!

Q4 0:52 — Looks left!

Q4 0:51 — He’s got Wallace on the near side!

Q4 0:50 — Roethlisberger lets it fly!

Q4 0:49 — (Long exaggerated breath as the ball is in the air)

Q4 0:48 — Broken up! Incomplete! Packers win! Packers win! The Green Bay Packers are your Super Bowl champions!

Postgame thoughts — Glad to see Aaron Rodgers win a championship. I don’t feel bad for the Steelers or Steelers fans, you’ve won enough in the past few years. Rodgers patiently waited behind Favre for his opportunity, and he owned it — throwing for 304 yards and 3 touchdowns, earning MVP honors in the process. Roethlisberger was an acceptable 25-40 with 263 yards and two touchdowns, but the two early interceptions gave the Steelers a deficit 21-3 that was too great to overcome. My question after the game: How similar was this year’s Super Bowl to last years?
Know what I mean? Two great QB’s, and the one that outplayed the other hoisted the trophy. Right down to the dramatic last minute where one of the great QB’s failed to come through as we’ve come to expect them to. Curious. But for now, the NFL season is in the books and the Packers are once again on top of the pecking order.

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NCAA Championship/WWE Raw Running Diary

Can’t think of a better opportunity to update my blog than a running diary of the Men’s NCAA basketball championship and Monday Night Raw.  Let’s go to work….

9:13– Butler vs Duke.  A #1 vs a #5.  A perennial powerhouse and a cinderella story.  Really should be a great game because of the explosive Dukee offense and stingy Butler defense.  Only disappointment is that Gus Johnson isn’t calling the game.  Too bad the Masters couldn’t have been a week earlier so Jim Nantz would have been busy.

9:15– Just announced that the Raw card will feature Orton vs Swagger, as well as Showbiz vs Cena & Batista.  Pretty exciting match-ups to be honest; should be a good night.

9:29– Scheyer with a huge block on the chase down!  He’s not a spectacular athlete and likely won’t do much in the NBA, but you have to respect his skills.  Shooting, defense, passing; he’s about as sound as you could want a point guard to be.  Plus his name is Scheyer which sounds like “Shire” and I’m a huge LOTR fan.

9:31– Say what you want about the crazy career track of The Miz, but Sheamus’ ride is just as crazy.  He went from being a no-talent punchline actor in movies to being in the WWE.  Seriously, it’s Steve the Pirate from Dodgeball ended up being the WWE Champion.  All he needed was one call to Canseco and he’s huge!

9:33– I don’t like the way Triple H uses his notorious sledge.  Why cover up the heavy part of the hammer when attempting a strike?  Oh, because wrestling is fake and a sledge-hammer blow to the head could kill somebody.  Right.

9:57– Little over five minutes left in the half.  An 8-0 run gives them a 28-22 lead, the largest of the game.  Been an exciting game so far, you can definitely tell that everybody is playing balls out and it’s really a lot of fun to watch.  I like the star-power of the NBA, but the emotion of college hoops possibly trumps it.

10:03- Butler goes on a run of their own, 27-28.  These teams are relying on the 3-ball tonight.  If Gus Johnson was calling this game it would look a lot like the video game.  That’s a big “if” though.

10:05– Show Biz wins by count-out.  Cheap move.  But no worries, the host has decided that they will need to defend their unified tag titles once more.  However, the troubled team of Batista-Cena won’t be appearing again.  Instead, it will be Cena and our special guest host.  I’m still not sure who that is?  Somebody from the WWE D-League perhaps?

10:09 Uncle Yooj threw out a fun fact related to this title game.  A few years ago both Duke and Butler cancelled their lacrosse seasons midway through the year.  I love fun facts; especially those shared by Uncle Yooj.

10:11– Duke can’t finish a last -second chance and they’ll take a one point lead into the halftime break, 33-32.  Gotta love the way the Bulldogs are fighting in this game.  Almost nobody gave them a chance.

Not sure why nobody gave them a chance though.  You’d think beating ‘Cuse, K-State, and Michigan State would remove the “underdog” status.

Nevermind, I’m jinxking them.  Butler is better off pulling the ol’ “NOBODY BELIEVES IN US!!!”

10:12– Ted DiBiase is complaining about his daddy issues.  Something about how is father missed out on his baseball and football games growing up because he was busy wrestling.  All fictional story lines aside, I’m curious if DeBiase actually has a vendetta against his father.  He seriously must have missed a lot of baseball and football games, right?

10:24– More highlights of Shawn Michaels’ farewell speech.  I hate to dog him because he’s been a great entertainer for so long, but do you really think this is for him?  I hate to sound like a cynical prick about it, but there’s going to be some lucrative offers sent in his direction.  I hope he doesn’t come back because I don’t want him to taint his legacy at all, but you never really know.

10:31– Prediction time!  I like Duke to pull out a close one.  Something along the lines of 68-64.  They have too much talent and experience to not pull this one out, but it should be an awesome half of basketball nonetheless.

10:39– Butler takes a 2 point lead!  Those Bulldogs just want it!  That’s raw-human emotion!!

10:40– Well that didn’t take long…. Duke answers, 40-40 and now, a word from our sponsors….

http://www.thestylus.net/

10:47– Screw my prediction.  With 14 minutes left and Butler down by 2 I pulled the trigger on a $5 bet with Shane-O.  I took Butler (+4.5).  Let me hear you Bulldog fans, NOBODY BELIEVES IN US!!!!

11:08- Seven minutes left, Duke leads 54-51.  That’s fine for the Bulldogs, most people assumed the Dukees would have ran them out of the gym by now.  In a side note, we’ve made the executive house decision to just watch the rest of the game and DVR Raw and watch it following the game.

11:14– Ouch!  Lance Thomas delivers a pretty serious foul.  Clark Kellog says it wasn’t flagrant at all.  Probably not but it was at least an irresponsible foul that resulted in a vicious fall.  Duke leads 56-51 with 5:02 left.

11:18– I don’t care how many epic championship sporting events are on, there’s always time for some Seinfeld on a commercial break!  “Hi Mr. Pitt, is Elaine there?”  Classic.

11:26– Two minutes left, Duke still leads 60-55.

11:27- Mr. Kellogg gives us the great analysis, “Butler needs a long distance shot, or some type of field goal.”  Really?  Ya think?

11:28– Great pass!  Butler layup, Duke leads 60-59 and calls a quick timeout to settle themselves.  One point game, with less than a minute left, what more could anybody possibly ask for in a national championship game?  Okay, other than Tim Tebow.

11:31– Tough rebound bounces of Zoubek’s foot!!  Butler ball, down by one, shot clock off… let’s see some magic….

11:32- 13.6 seconds left, timeout Butler.  You think you’re excited, FEEL THESE NIPPLES!!

11:35–  Well shit.  Butler missed, and was forced to foul.  Four seconds left and worst-case scenario is down by three, so there’s still the chance at a miracle long-ball 3 pointer.

11:37– An incredible half-court shot that just missed the mark.  The Dukees prevail and win their first championship since ’01.  Butler played their hearts out, and managed to cover the +4.5 point spread for me.  $5…CHA-CHING!!!

11:40– Just watched the Replay of the Randy Orton-Jack Swagger match and it was an awesome ending.  Orton flipped out and landed a perfectly scripted RKO for the win.  Love that the WWE writers are using this guy the way they should be.  He’s the best wrestler they got.

11:47- Sorry to all of my WWE fans out there, but the DVR didn’t record all of the episode and I couldn’t catch the ending.  But congrats again to the DUKEEEES and congrats to Butler for putting up a hell of a fight over the last few weeks.  The Butler Bulldogs are about to become what the Gonzaga Bulldogs became ten years ago.

USA vs Canada; Gold Medal Game Running Diary

I haven’t done a running diary since Tebow and the Gators lost to Chad Henne and the Wolverines in the Capital One Bowl over two years ago.  So yeah, I think it’s about time I did one.

2:07 Every Sunday at college is the same.  You and everybody else in the house wake up at 12:30, grab whatever leftover food that may have been left in the frigde, then you meet in the living room to laugh about everybody’s mistakes and shortcomings from the past two days.  It’s more of a spiritual thing at this point than a weekly tradition.

2:15- So today is the big gold medal game!  I usually don’t get excited for non-playoff hockey, but this is as excited I’ve been for a hockey game since my Stanley Cup game 7 in dynasty mode on XboX last year.  This contest is dynasty mode big!

2:22- Didn’t think I was gonna say anything, but fuck it.  As a result of the BFF Christmas party I do with all of my friends, I have acquired two “Girls Gone Wild” DVD’s and am watching them for the first time with my roommates right now.  It’s amazing how much I’m not like the guys filming these things..

  • Girls Gone Wild Guy: Hey do you girls want to take your tops off, make out, and maybe spank each other a little bit?
  • Ridiculously Hot Girl(s): WOOOO GIRLS GONE WILD (Sexy acts begin)

….Now for my scenario….

  • Drunken, probably a little sweaty, Matt: Hey girl, you want to dance, act like you like me, then trick me into giving you a shot?
  • Probably a 6 on the “Hot-Girl Scale” Girl: I’ll think about it, I’m still holding out hope that the janitor is going to hit on me.  After that….. then… maybe.

What a life I live right?

2:29- The Super Bowl gets a pregame show that essentially lasts two weeks.  The Gold Medal Hockey game gets a pregame show of cross country skiing.  I need some Melrose breaking down film and telling me how this game’s going to go, not a bunch of dudes in the same suit that Ned Flanders has.

“Feels like you’re wearin’ nothin’ at all.  Nothin’ at all.  Nothin’ at all.”

2:32- Half an hour until game time.  Wish something like “Drum Line,” or “Legally Blonde” was on.  Something that could make a half hour feel like two minutes on day-time TV.

2:41- I tweeted, “I would rather watch people race Segways than watch cross country skiing.”  About the same speeds, no?

2:53- Been calling everybody I see a “boozehound” when I go out.  I started doing it  a while ago, but when I saw a few people last night they started howling “boozehound!” for a few minutes; I think I’m onto something with this.

3:01- Al Michaels calling the game?  Now you have to think we’re going to see something special during this game.  People are quick to forget that Bob Costas and Al Michaels were the Milkwaukee Beers’ announcers in “Baseketball,” the greatest sports story ever told.

3:09- Weird running diary correlation!  Last time I did this kind of thing was the same day as the “Outdoor Class” or whatever when the Pens played the Sabers in the Ralph.  Hockey’s got some potential with the Sports Meister I say!

3:14- Put up the Facebook status, “Miller Time!  Who’s going to be a boozehound if USA wins the gold medal?”  Three likes, one comment, and a brewdog handed to me from Dirt all in under two minutes.  That’s action-packed Facebooking!

3:19- Al Michaels isn’t calling the game.  I hate to be the negative nancy, but this is a real bad omen for Team USA.

Pucks about to drop though: My prediction, 4-3 USA USA USA USA USA USA USSR USSA USSA!!!!

3:25- Maybe it’s the camera angle, maybe it’s because they’re playing in Vancouver, but there are so many Canadian fans in the seats.  Lots of red shirts out there.  Probably the camera angle

3:33- Syracuse won the other big game for this weekend.  I’ve been raggin’ on ‘Cuse and their abysmal out-of-conference schedule for months, but when you think about it, if I had to play the teams in the big east, I’d schedule cupcakes if I could too.  ‘Cuse as a #1 seed though?  Not sold on ’em, but you can’t really be sold on anybody for March Madness.

3:38- Just going to apologize in advance for making every hockey-related joke either a Mighty Ducks joke or a video game joke.  It’s all I got.

3:39-  Goal for Canada.  The commies are up 1-0.  What?  Not commies?  Only commies wear red!

3:44-  USA was up 6-0 by this time last in the game on Friday.  We’re really stinking up the joint today I guess.

3:52- Twenty minutes have been played.  1-0 Canada.  I’ve played enough NHL ’10 to know you don’t want to be down 1-0 to the Commies.  JKF was up 1-0 on them and look what happened, you definitely don’t want to be down to these guys.

4:02-  This intermission has been much too long.  They should get two zambonis, and have them race each other in an effort to decrease time between periods.  Tell me that wouldn’t spark an interest for the fans there and us fine people watching at home?

4:16- I just looked like a total weakling.  One of the girls next door needed help getting their car out and I offered to help.  Of course I couldn’t move it by myself.  Got some help from Dirt and the car moved with ease.  I looked like a total weakling!

4:19- Canada scores again!  The Commies lead 2-0.  Man I really hope Hans brought the Mighty Ducks jerseys to change into during the second intermission.  We need a little momentum.

4:22-  DUCKS FLY TOGETHER!!!

4:29- You know you’re a good goalie when you put Brodeur on the bench for a gold medal game in Canada.  Luongo will be the star of the Great White North if they win this contest.

4:31- GOAL!!!!! USA USA USA!!!! Hans can leave those jerseys behind!!! We’re doing fine!!!!

4:35- At no point in the first 1 1/2 hours of this contest did I think the Americans could win.  Have I been swayed?  I don’t know, does Captain Morgan drink in the woods?

4:37- What can I say, Canadian hockey fans are just passionate.  Simply put, the bleed red.

That joke is hilarious, and you know it.

4:47- Last year my buddies and I joined the Club Golf team (not a fictional story) and got to golf at a nice course for three months for $90.  Unfortunately, I think our group average of +100 each (on 18, I swear) might keep us off the squad this year.  What am I going to do about paying for golf every time?

And how come golf isn’t an Olympic sport?  I’m sure the Masters get the same amount of viewers as the Stanley Cup, yet, no love.

4:55- Third period, this is always a big deal in football.  You always want to come out of the half and set yourself up nicely for the fourth.

5:00- This announcer is amazing.  I thought the lack of Al Michaels would hurt us but this guy is incredible. He talks non-stop but still picks up his voice whenever it matters.  I’d love for him to call my Friday nights.

Matt wins the draw, passes the beer to Josh, Josh declines, Matt keeps them both.  He moves through the crowd, spots two girls to the left, AND HERE HE GOES, AND OHHH!!!! HE MISSED’ EM WIDE.  He bounces back off the wall, Matt rebounds, looking for an option, sees Shane, Shane’s calling for it, wide open, OHHHHH!!!! And Matt falls over!! MAKING A COMPLETE ASS OUT OF HIMSELF!!!

So yeah, I do think Gus Johnson could call Olympic Hockey/My Friday Nights.

5:06- Shane, my Bills-fan twin brother, just said it best I think.  “It’s not Trent Edwards, it’s got nothing to do with the quarterbacks anymore.  Chan Gailey?”

5:13- 7:45 left, USA trails by one.  How will this one end?  Not sure, but I wouldn’t count on an interception returned for a touchdown from Peyton Manning.  That came out of nowhere.

5:21- Kane just hawked the shit out of Sid the Kid.  Love that American heart, intensity, and performance enhancing drugged out body.

5:25-1 Minute left!  2-1 with the Commies holding the edge.  DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?!?!

5:28-GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL!!!! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!!!!?!??!?!! 2-2!!! TAKE THAT YOU COMMIE BASTARDS!!!

5:29- Never thought I would say ‘This guy’s a bum!  Bring in Brodeur!!” as a joke

5:33- Overtime thoughts?  You got to like USA here.  This is momentum beyond momentum now.  Two unanswered goals with the hottest goalie in the world, you really have to like the Americans here.

5:38- Not that this game was destined to be amazing or anything, but I haven’t done a running diary in over two years and all of a sudden this is the most amazing game ever.  I think the SportsMeister has something to do with this.

5:43- As much as I like to pretend, I really thought Canada would win 5-2 or something anticlimactic like that.  This is really outstanding and well, I’m a hockey fan now.

Tonsel Hockey!!! ahahahaha!!!!

5:45- I feel like I hear “Langanbrunnah” ten times more than any other name.

5:51- I cannot stress how good this announcer is.  Could you imagine keeping your energy up for +2.5 hours?  I tried to do a Sports Meister Sports Talk and couldn’t talk for more than three minutes without being bored.  This guy deserves a medal, a holiday, or at least a cuddle from somebody.

5:53- Canada wins the gold medal 3-2.  That’s what happens when Iginla and Crosby finally realize how much better they are than everybody else.  Not even mad.  If it was in Salt Lake City, maybe, but in Vancouver, let the Canadians have their fun.

Hope you read and enjoyed this, it was a pretty solid hockey game right?

**Did you catch my USSR joke?**