USA vs Canada; Gold Medal Game Running Diary

I haven’t done a running diary since Tebow and the Gators lost to Chad Henne and the Wolverines in the Capital One Bowl over two years ago.  So yeah, I think it’s about time I did one.

2:07 Every Sunday at college is the same.  You and everybody else in the house wake up at 12:30, grab whatever leftover food that may have been left in the frigde, then you meet in the living room to laugh about everybody’s mistakes and shortcomings from the past two days.  It’s more of a spiritual thing at this point than a weekly tradition.

2:15- So today is the big gold medal game!  I usually don’t get excited for non-playoff hockey, but this is as excited I’ve been for a hockey game since my Stanley Cup game 7 in dynasty mode on XboX last year.  This contest is dynasty mode big!

2:22- Didn’t think I was gonna say anything, but fuck it.  As a result of the BFF Christmas party I do with all of my friends, I have acquired two “Girls Gone Wild” DVD’s and am watching them for the first time with my roommates right now.  It’s amazing how much I’m not like the guys filming these things..

  • Girls Gone Wild Guy: Hey do you girls want to take your tops off, make out, and maybe spank each other a little bit?
  • Ridiculously Hot Girl(s): WOOOO GIRLS GONE WILD (Sexy acts begin)

….Now for my scenario….

  • Drunken, probably a little sweaty, Matt: Hey girl, you want to dance, act like you like me, then trick me into giving you a shot?
  • Probably a 6 on the “Hot-Girl Scale” Girl: I’ll think about it, I’m still holding out hope that the janitor is going to hit on me.  After that….. then… maybe.

What a life I live right?

2:29- The Super Bowl gets a pregame show that essentially lasts two weeks.  The Gold Medal Hockey game gets a pregame show of cross country skiing.  I need some Melrose breaking down film and telling me how this game’s going to go, not a bunch of dudes in the same suit that Ned Flanders has.

“Feels like you’re wearin’ nothin’ at all.  Nothin’ at all.  Nothin’ at all.”

2:32- Half an hour until game time.  Wish something like “Drum Line,” or “Legally Blonde” was on.  Something that could make a half hour feel like two minutes on day-time TV.

2:41- I tweeted, “I would rather watch people race Segways than watch cross country skiing.”  About the same speeds, no?

2:53- Been calling everybody I see a “boozehound” when I go out.  I started doing it  a while ago, but when I saw a few people last night they started howling “boozehound!” for a few minutes; I think I’m onto something with this.

3:01- Al Michaels calling the game?  Now you have to think we’re going to see something special during this game.  People are quick to forget that Bob Costas and Al Michaels were the Milkwaukee Beers’ announcers in “Baseketball,” the greatest sports story ever told.

3:09- Weird running diary correlation!  Last time I did this kind of thing was the same day as the “Outdoor Class” or whatever when the Pens played the Sabers in the Ralph.  Hockey’s got some potential with the Sports Meister I say!

3:14- Put up the Facebook status, “Miller Time!  Who’s going to be a boozehound if USA wins the gold medal?”  Three likes, one comment, and a brewdog handed to me from Dirt all in under two minutes.  That’s action-packed Facebooking!

3:19- Al Michaels isn’t calling the game.  I hate to be the negative nancy, but this is a real bad omen for Team USA.

Pucks about to drop though: My prediction, 4-3 USA USA USA USA USA USA USSR USSA USSA!!!!

3:25- Maybe it’s the camera angle, maybe it’s because they’re playing in Vancouver, but there are so many Canadian fans in the seats.  Lots of red shirts out there.  Probably the camera angle

3:33- Syracuse won the other big game for this weekend.  I’ve been raggin’ on ‘Cuse and their abysmal out-of-conference schedule for months, but when you think about it, if I had to play the teams in the big east, I’d schedule cupcakes if I could too.  ‘Cuse as a #1 seed though?  Not sold on ’em, but you can’t really be sold on anybody for March Madness.

3:38- Just going to apologize in advance for making every hockey-related joke either a Mighty Ducks joke or a video game joke.  It’s all I got.

3:39-  Goal for Canada.  The commies are up 1-0.  What?  Not commies?  Only commies wear red!

3:44-  USA was up 6-0 by this time last in the game on Friday.  We’re really stinking up the joint today I guess.

3:52- Twenty minutes have been played.  1-0 Canada.  I’ve played enough NHL ’10 to know you don’t want to be down 1-0 to the Commies.  JKF was up 1-0 on them and look what happened, you definitely don’t want to be down to these guys.

4:02-  This intermission has been much too long.  They should get two zambonis, and have them race each other in an effort to decrease time between periods.  Tell me that wouldn’t spark an interest for the fans there and us fine people watching at home?

4:16- I just looked like a total weakling.  One of the girls next door needed help getting their car out and I offered to help.  Of course I couldn’t move it by myself.  Got some help from Dirt and the car moved with ease.  I looked like a total weakling!

4:19- Canada scores again!  The Commies lead 2-0.  Man I really hope Hans brought the Mighty Ducks jerseys to change into during the second intermission.  We need a little momentum.


4:29- You know you’re a good goalie when you put Brodeur on the bench for a gold medal game in Canada.  Luongo will be the star of the Great White North if they win this contest.

4:31- GOAL!!!!! USA USA USA!!!! Hans can leave those jerseys behind!!! We’re doing fine!!!!

4:35- At no point in the first 1 1/2 hours of this contest did I think the Americans could win.  Have I been swayed?  I don’t know, does Captain Morgan drink in the woods?

4:37- What can I say, Canadian hockey fans are just passionate.  Simply put, the bleed red.

That joke is hilarious, and you know it.

4:47- Last year my buddies and I joined the Club Golf team (not a fictional story) and got to golf at a nice course for three months for $90.  Unfortunately, I think our group average of +100 each (on 18, I swear) might keep us off the squad this year.  What am I going to do about paying for golf every time?

And how come golf isn’t an Olympic sport?  I’m sure the Masters get the same amount of viewers as the Stanley Cup, yet, no love.

4:55- Third period, this is always a big deal in football.  You always want to come out of the half and set yourself up nicely for the fourth.

5:00- This announcer is amazing.  I thought the lack of Al Michaels would hurt us but this guy is incredible. He talks non-stop but still picks up his voice whenever it matters.  I’d love for him to call my Friday nights.

Matt wins the draw, passes the beer to Josh, Josh declines, Matt keeps them both.  He moves through the crowd, spots two girls to the left, AND HERE HE GOES, AND OHHH!!!! HE MISSED’ EM WIDE.  He bounces back off the wall, Matt rebounds, looking for an option, sees Shane, Shane’s calling for it, wide open, OHHHHH!!!! And Matt falls over!! MAKING A COMPLETE ASS OUT OF HIMSELF!!!

So yeah, I do think Gus Johnson could call Olympic Hockey/My Friday Nights.

5:06- Shane, my Bills-fan twin brother, just said it best I think.  “It’s not Trent Edwards, it’s got nothing to do with the quarterbacks anymore.  Chan Gailey?”

5:13- 7:45 left, USA trails by one.  How will this one end?  Not sure, but I wouldn’t count on an interception returned for a touchdown from Peyton Manning.  That came out of nowhere.

5:21- Kane just hawked the shit out of Sid the Kid.  Love that American heart, intensity, and performance enhancing drugged out body.

5:25-1 Minute left!  2-1 with the Commies holding the edge.  DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?!?!


5:29- Never thought I would say ‘This guy’s a bum!  Bring in Brodeur!!” as a joke

5:33- Overtime thoughts?  You got to like USA here.  This is momentum beyond momentum now.  Two unanswered goals with the hottest goalie in the world, you really have to like the Americans here.

5:38- Not that this game was destined to be amazing or anything, but I haven’t done a running diary in over two years and all of a sudden this is the most amazing game ever.  I think the SportsMeister has something to do with this.

5:43- As much as I like to pretend, I really thought Canada would win 5-2 or something anticlimactic like that.  This is really outstanding and well, I’m a hockey fan now.

Tonsel Hockey!!! ahahahaha!!!!

5:45- I feel like I hear “Langanbrunnah” ten times more than any other name.

5:51- I cannot stress how good this announcer is.  Could you imagine keeping your energy up for +2.5 hours?  I tried to do a Sports Meister Sports Talk and couldn’t talk for more than three minutes without being bored.  This guy deserves a medal, a holiday, or at least a cuddle from somebody.

5:53- Canada wins the gold medal 3-2.  That’s what happens when Iginla and Crosby finally realize how much better they are than everybody else.  Not even mad.  If it was in Salt Lake City, maybe, but in Vancouver, let the Canadians have their fun.

Hope you read and enjoyed this, it was a pretty solid hockey game right?

**Did you catch my USSR joke?**



Newest update today…

Tony Romo and LeBron James?  Sounds like a good time to me!


Newest update today…

A “Top-10 Pound for Pound Fighters in the World” List accompanied with Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt mocking the Winter Games.

Bon Ap ‘ Read!


Newest update!  Enjoy!

Some Super Bowl Thoughts

In case you live under a rock, you should make it as sweet as Patrick’s from the SpongeBob show.  That little place could be on the “Cribs” for houses built under rocks.

But you’ve heard about the Super Bowl and the spectacular Saints victory I’m sure.  I was pretty far off on my predictions, but did nail a few; especially “The Who” at halftime.  I guess that a bad show from them was as easy to predict as the NFC West though.  But here are some of my thoughts from the big game.

–My favorite commercial was the Monster one with the Beaver playing the Violin.  I love fuzzy little creatures, and I love fuzzy creatures doing human-like things even more.  The fact that the little beaver was doing something as cultured as playing the Violin sealed the deal.

Bug Light and Doritos had a slew of solid commercials.  The Google commercial was really cool as well, but the eTrade commercials were pretty disappointing; we’ve come to expect better out of them after being the standouts the last two years.

Hated when Letterman brought in Leno as an extra for his ad.  That was as lame as cancer.

Wished there was a Coors Light commercial with a press conference.  I mean this is the Super Bowl and Coors light is the official beer of the NFL, yet no ads?  Pretty lousy effort from the sister company of the Banquet Beer.

And now onto the Budweiser commercial.  You know, the one when the whole town rallied together to get their beer.  Kids, women, and everybody else made a bridge and got drove on.  I love a good beer or two, or fifteen, but does anything scream alcoholism like an entire community, no matter age or gender, coming together in the name of beer?  This is bad.

–The Saints played a near perfect game.  No turnovers, huge special teams play, and solid defense against one of the highest scoring units in the league.  People were talking about what needed to happen for the Saints to have a chance.  That’s bullshit.  New Orleans has more talent overall and the only thing that could’ve stopped them from winning was Peyton Manning.  And he damn near did before the Pick 6 heard ’round the world; which brings me to my next point.

–Peyton Manning really, really, hurt his legacy with that one toss.  Everybody and their step-brother thought Manning and the Colts were going to tie it up at the end there, and then the complete opposite happened!

**Side note.  Didn’t realize it for the 1st thirty times I saw the INT, but Manning got blocked in the back with no-call.  Colts would still have had 2-minute warning and 2 time outs and onyl down 7.  Would like to have seen what would’ve happened if a flag was thrown.**

So Manning throws a pass that he’s thrown a million times in his career, except to the other team this time.  It happened for a number of reasons…

1) Manning threw the ball way right, more wide right than Scott Norwood.  Even with a huge break Wayne may have not gotten to the ball.

2) Wayne may have had traction issues.  He looked like he was in slo-mo compared to Porter.  Wasn’t even close to catching him after the pick either.

3) All the credit goes to Porter.  He and his unit studied enough film to figure out Manning’s tendencies; something nobody’s been able to do the last 4-5 years.  Porter made a huge break on the ball and wouldn’t be tackled.  Epic play.

But I think Skip Bayless sait it best.  “Manning went from the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of all time) to just the goat.”  It sucks because I really like Manning, but he’ll need to get back to the big game and win it if he wants to be talked about with the Montanas and the Elways, not the Favres and the Marinos.

New Post and Some Thoughts

Newest update is up.  A 2000+ word Super Bowl Preview and a fictional story regarding Matt Leinart.  Yeahhhh Broooooo..

But I also have some random sports thoughts not concerning the NFL.

–The World Cup is this summer in South Africa.  I’ll probably do a preview for than at the appropriate time, but this is me epressing my hopes ofr Clitn Dempsey to return from his injury in time.  Probably the best player that the Stars and Stripes side has to offer in international play, and without him I don’t like our chances to go deep into tournament play.

Even without him we should be able to get out of group play.  Group C is pretty limited aside from the always formiddable England side.  But between the USA, Algeria, and Slovenia, there’s not a huge pool of talent there and really any one of those teams can advance.  I’m just glad the American side didn’t get tossed into a group with the Czech, Italy, and Ghana.

Of course the USA is probably the favorite to come in second in the group and advance to the elimination round, but you never know in soccer.  But hey, we did beat Spain, and almost beat Brazil right?  I got a fever, and the only prescription is another monumental international upset with the USA toppling one of the world’s powerhouse soccer squads.

A little wordy?  Yeah it needs work.

–A quick look over to will show you a picture of Urban Meyer and a few of his blue chip recruits as the feature story.  The title “Urba’n’s Legend Grows” is appropriate as the Gators landed themselves one of the best recruiting classes ever.  Maybe it’s because they’re constantly in national title talks.  Maybe it’s because they’re located in a football hot bed.  But with Urban’s spread O, accompained with his unparalled recruiting skills, the Gators are going to compete in the SEC every single year.  Love it.

–The Cleveland Cavaliers have the NBA’s best record (1 game up on the Lakers) and have only lost an astonishing 5 games at home since the beginning of last season.  You’ve heard it from before, but sometimes I just can’t stop myself; it’s absolutely incredible, incredible, how good LeBron James is.

We’re talking about a guy who averages 29+ ppg, when he often doesn’t even play in the fourth quarter because he’s up so much.  We’re talking about a guy who comes an assist, or a rebound or two, from a triple double every night.  We’re talking about a guy who’s possibly more valuable to his team than Peyton Manning.

If you take Manning off of the Colts, you could argue they are a 4-5 win team at best.  That’s pretty valuable.  You take LeBron off of the Cavs, and what do you get?  What do you get when your best players are Mo Williams, and Carlito?  When your big men are Shaq and Ilgauskus, who are so slow they would have to tag each other in just to run a 40 yard dash.  These players look mediocre and at times above average with LeBron opening up the floor and giving them great looks.  Without King James, the Cavs are a 10-15 win team.

This is why I hope beyond hope that the Bulls move Deng, Hinrich, and maybe another guy to make some room for LeBron.  The idea of LeBron playing for Jordan’s old team is crazy enough.  The idea of LeBron playing with Derrick Rose is even crazier.  Rose is a guy who will push the pace of the game, he’ll play great defense, and his penetrations will set up LeBron like nobody ever has.  If they have those two in a game, we’d be looking at a basketball tandem never seen before.

–And while LeBron is the best overall player in the NBA, he’s not the best scorer.  That title belongs to Kobe…. for now.  There’s a 21 year old kid from Oklahoma City that is putting on a show on a nightly basis.  Kevin Durant is the truth.  This guy is leading the NBA in scoring (he turned 21 a few months ago) and his shooting % is through the roof for a guy who takes that many shots.  Even more impressive, he has the Thunder slotted for a playoff spot.  What LeBron did in his first few season with the Cavs, Durant is doing in Oklahoma City.  Leading, driving, pushing this team to new heights because he is one of those rare talents that comes around every so often.

Back when him and Oden were being evaluated/debated/inspected for the draft, nobody knew should go #1.  I thought it should be Oden.  A guy who’s 7’1, can block with both hands, and box out like Dennisn Rodman is something that you really don’t see every draft.  A guy like Durant, a freakishly good scoring threat from everywhere on the floor was a rare talent as well, but I assumed he’d fall into a random swingman position and be “Vince Carter Jr.”

Clearly I was wrong.
I still like my cliche preseason prediction.

1) LeBron MVP

2) Cavs over Lakers in the finals

We could only hope right?