1/28/10 Update


Newest update featuring a Jersey Shore fictional story and a funny, unique NFL Power Rankings.  I think it’s one of my best updates in a long while.



1/21/10 Update


Newest Update with AFC and NFC Championship predictions and Joe Namath being drunk.  Joe’s just a happy guy.


Saturday Afternoon

When I’m bored, I write.  And as the great “Kel” always said…


–College basketball is inching closer and closer to March.  So, it’s inching closer and closer to people caring about it.  Everybody loves the emotion, passion, and atmosphere of college hoops….. in March.  Otherwise, we have the NFL going on and that basically takes over our sports minds until Super Bowl Sunday.

And as you could probably suggest, I haven’t been paying too close attention to college hoops, but I have been paying attention to Kentucky.  They’re young, very young, but they are loaded with talent, have one of the best coaches in the country, and they have J-Wall.  He’s already being touted by LeBron James as the next big thing in basketball.  So basically, my pick right now is Kentucky to win it all.  But I’ll update that after conference tournaments are over, because usually if you do well in those, you can carry that momentum into the big dance.

–My original pick of the Colts over Eagles is no longer possible.  Am I hurt?  A little, but I’ll bounce back.  My winner is still there to gain some SportsMeister credibility.  Of course, that may not be the case in six hours.  The Colts go up against the Ravens who match-up really well in just about every angle of the game…

… Except quarterback.  Manning is going to will this team to victory right?!  He’s Peyton Manning!  One of the best of all-time!  At home, with essentially a three week layoff heading into this.  He might come out and throw 3TDs to Dallas Clark, Pierre Garcon, and Reggie Wayne right off the bat.

And if that happens, don’t expect Joey Eyebrows to carry the load for the Ravens.  He is perfect for a team that can stop offenses and control the clock with an overpowering run game, not perfect for a team that needs points in bunches.  Watch this one closely.

On the other side of the coin, if the Ravens jump to a quick lead, they’ll be able to blitz Manning and throw confusing cover schemes at him kind of like they were able to do last week against the Patriots.

I still think the Colts win, but the Ravens (+6.5) cover in a real exciting game


Newest update you can find here…


This week features another futile attempt to predict this weekend’s NFL action, a former WWE superstar trying out for a football team, and the first every guest essayist, Dr. Dirt.


Who Says I Can’t Write for Fun?

Just some stuff I would like to write about…

–I know everybody already knows, but the Alabama Crimson Tide are national champions!!!  But let’s give some credit to the Texas Foghorns for putting up a fight right down to Gilbert’s last interception.  Without McCoy they were limited on offense, but even had he not been hurt, I would imagine Alabama still wins.  Saban’s too good of a coach, and they were too talented of a team.

So they’re national champs, and that’s cool.  Whatever.  We’ll find out if they suffer from the same winning hangover that Florida did all season, because they absolutely should, and will, be preseason #1.  They’re bringing back so many players (like Florida did) and the pressure won’t be, “Can they go undefeated?” but rather, “How badly will they blow their opponents out?”  We know they can win, but we wanna see some sizzle next year.  And that kind of pressure can make a team fold (See Florida ’09 SEC Championship).

Texas will be fine too.  Gilbert already looks like a guy who can be a threat to win a Heisman.  Very poised, good mechanics, and a strong arm.  Looks like he has what it takes to take Texas from McCoy status to Young status.  Texans fans got a lot to look forward to.

And lastly, the benefits of Florida.  I dislike Alabama, and I really dislike Saban, but their wins reloads my metaphorical debate gun with ammo for another year.  The SEC has been the best conference for years, and people still like to dispute it.  If not for the lack of success in other conferences, look at the success of the SEC the last four years.  When’s the last time a conference had four national champions in a row?  Come on maaaaan.

–Saw “Youth in Revolt” the other day; liked it.  A lot of times I complain about how actors get old because they just do the same thing over and over in different movies with different stories.  Usually this sort of thing bothers me, but Michael Cera is that guy, and I love it.  He has redefined awkward humor.  And it’s his one look, but I love that look, and so do so many others.

–I just want the Mayweather-PacMan fight to happen.  I wouldn’t even call myself a boxing fan, but I want it to happen so bad.  I hate that Pacquiao is ducking him and fighting a new guy now.  If this guy thinks he’s one of the best ever, then fight Mayweather and take some drug tests,  When it does happen, and it will because they money’s too good, I hope Mayweather knocks him out in the 12th round.  It might just be the last really great boxing match.

–That’s all, go crack open a brewdog and prepare for some excellent NFL playoff action!

A Salute and a Goodbye to Tim Tebow; The Greatest College Football Player of All-Time

You can hate him, you can love him, or you can act like his existence has never mattered to you, but Tim Tebow has been apart of your life for the last four years.  If you’ve strolled this far into the depths of the internet you have to be a fairly serious sports fan, and if that fact is given, then without a doubt, Tebow has somehow affected your mood at one point.

You’ve probably designed an opinion of him (positive or negative).  You’ve probably defended that opinion (as sports fans often do).  You’ve probably even thought about how he would do in the NFL when his days at Florida were no more.  Regardless of how you feel about Tim Tebow, you do feel something for this guy.

Tebow played his last college game last night in the Sugar Bowl.  If you didn’t hear, Florida rolled the previously undefeated BearCats and Tebow broke the Total Yards record for a BCS game.  A decent consolation prize for a season that could only be described as a letdown.

And normally this is where I would begin to describe how unfair it is for us to expect Tebow to do so much.  How he should have had no trouble against any team all season and put up video game numbers on his way to another National Title and another Heisman.  But it is fair to expect all that from him because, as we’ve learned over the past four years, he’s more than capable of achieving these lofty goals.

He stormed onto the scene as a freshmen in Urban Meyer’s first year.  Despite having a three year starter in Chris Leak at quarterback, Meyer showed a ton of trust in his most prized recruit.  Tebow saw opportunities several times throughout that season and he capitalized on pretty much all of them.  A few highlights included a go-ahead TD run against South Carolina, the original “jump-pass” against Tennessee, and a pair of touchdowns in the national title game over the heavily favored Buckeyes.

His freshmen year we saw what he could be.

He was named the starter before his sophomore season and a lot of people didn’t know what to expect; was he a passer, was he a runner?  People said he was too big to be a quarterback.  They said, “Scambling quarterbacks are ridiculously fast and shifty, like Mike Vick, not Mike Alstott.”  But our eyes would be opened all year long.  Florida lost games to SEC rivals (Georgia with Matt Stafford and Knowshon Moreno, Auburn in Auburn by a last second FG, and LSU in LSU, who would go onto win the title that season) and they would miss out on a BCS bowl for the only time in Tebow’s career.  Regardless, his video game numbers (70% completion percentage, 4181 total yards, and 55 total TD’s) would land him the Maxwell award and also make him the first ever sophomore to win the Heisman trophy.

His Sophomore year showed us what kind of Super Star he could be.

Much like his sophomore year, his junior year started with a lot of hype and national title talks.  Between the defending Heisman winner and returning play-maker Percy Harvin, a lot of analysts chalked Tebow and the Gators as the favorite for the national title.  But Florida struggled early in the year.  Tebow couldn’t match his sophomore numbers and the Gators looked sluggish in every game until a home game against unranked Ole Miss.  They lost in the swamp against an unranked opponent for the first time in years and all of a sudden they were dropped from national title talks.  Then Tebow made “The Promise.”  You’ve all heard it/scene it/loved it/threw up because of it.

And most people heard the promise after they earned a spot in the title and the national media made a humungous deal out of it.  But I remember watching the game on ESPN’s Gamecast (it wasn’t on TV) and just remember the bitter feeling of shock, and disappointment.  I remember the feeling in my gut….

4th and 1…

Gators have the ball at midfield…

Under 3 minutes left in the game…

(Shotgun) T. Tebow rushes up the middle for -1 yards

I read it again…

(Shotgun) T. Tebow rushes up the middle for -1 yards

I couldn’t believe it.  We’re talking about Superman, at home, against Ole Miss.  He’s never been stopped for a yard in his life, and it just happened to an unranked team in the swamp with the game on the line?  I was mad.  It was the only stretch of time in the last four years that I wasn’t infatuated with Tebow.  It made him real to me, not the hero that I and so many others believed him to be.  He would change that of course

He went up to the post-game press conference and took no questions.  He said what he wanted to say, how he wanted to say it, and that was that.  He left the microphone on a mission.  I didn’t believe him.  I made fun of him, called him a whiner, said he couldn’t win a big game (because at that point he had lost every meaningful game as a starter.  Auburn, Georgia, LSU, and even to Michigan in the Capital One Bowl.  His track record as a winner was less than impressive).

So I followed the Gators still.  The dropped in the rankings while others climbed above them.  I knew they were still in it, and I just had to be patient.  All the pieces were there, games against Georgia, FSU, and whomever in the SEC championship could be more than enough to propel one-loss Florida into the BCS championship game.  I just had to hope that Tebow could deliver on his promise.

And he did.  After that loss, the entire country saw a completely different Florida Gators team.  They started blowing people out like we all thought they would and they were quickly being touted as one of the country’s better teams.  They rolled Georgia, rolled Florida State, and climbed to #2 in the country behind Tebow.  His win in the SEC championship over #1 Alabama earned him another invitation to the Heisman ceremony, but more importantly, a trip to the national championship.

Tebow would lose the Heisman vote to Sam Bradford (despite taking the most 1st place votes) but would get his revenge when Florida would go on and beat the Oklahoma Sooners for their second national title in three years (and Tebow’s first as a starter).  After three years, Tebow had two national titles, two Maxwell’s, and a Heisman.  Most sensible say, “Hell of a career, let’s see what I can do at the next level.”  Tebow said, “Let’s do it again, I’m coming back next year.”

His junior year showed us the kind of winner he had become.

Again, like every year of his career, Tebow and the Gators faced enormous expectations coming into the year.  They had brought back everybody but Percry Harvin and Louis Murphy to a national championship winning team.  This was supposed to be one of the best teams in college football history.

But it wasn’t.  The loss of offensive coordinator Dan Mullen killed them.  The loss of Percy Harvin killed them.  But most importantly, the fact that they were defending champs killed them.  They never felt challenged, they never felt they could lose.  Even us Florida fans felt that way.  Every Saturday we would be mad that we didn’t blow out another bottom-tier team.  It was a struggle.  Tebow struggled, but the Gators kept on winning until their rematch in the SEC championship.  Another #1 vs #2 for Alabama and Florida.  This time however, it wouldn’t be Tebow and the Gators celebrating another trip to a national title.  Alabama won, convincgly, and the Gators were forced to settle for the Sugar Bowl.

I would like to mention that if Florida lost last year’s SEC Championship they would have won this years.  Meyer and Saban are two of the best coaches in college football and either of them could have out-motivated the other if they were coming off of the loss.  I’m sure of this.  Look at Florida in the Sugar Bowl last night, they were untouchable against an undefeated team.  But back to the story.

Tebow as invited again to the Heisman ceremony.  This time it was more of a fond farewell to one of the games’ greats; not a legitimate chance to win.  He would come in last, distantly, but nobody was surpised.

But he did have one last surprise as the Gators prepared for their bowl game.  Tebow came out in his last college game and put on an unprecedented offensive performance by one of the most impressive offensive players in history.  31-35, 482 yards and 3 TDs.  Add in another 51 yards and a TD on the ground and you have the best performance ever in a BCS bowl.

His senior year showed us that we had become to expect too much.

Tebow pumped up his draft stock, but what he does at the next level, either impressive or disappointing, won’t match what he did at the college level.  He won awards, ran for first downs, won championships, and captured the hearts of millions across America.

The Gators will move on.  There will be another great QB to step into Meyer’s offense and have tremendous success.

Tebow will go on.  He’ll go to the NFL.  He likely won’t be a successful quarterback, but his religious platform will grow and that’s really what’s most important to him.

His list of accomplishments is as long as anybody’s…

–9286 passing yards

–2947 rushing yards

–88 passing TD

–67.1 career completion percentage

–176.0 career QB rating

–15 INT in 985 attempts

–Two-Time national champion

–Two-Time Maxwell award winner

–Heisman Trophy winner

–Two-Time SEC offensive player of the year

–Two-Time All-American

–AP Player of the year

–Three-Time All SEC

–Two time ESPY Award winner “Best Male College Athlete”

–3-0 in BCS games.

In his career, he showed us how good a college football player can be.