John Daly Reaches Out to Tiger Woods

Matt Driffill

A day after Tiger Woods,the world’s number one ranked golfer, suffered serious injuries in a car accident outside his home, John Daly, the world’s 215th ranked player, reached out to him.

“It’s just a very serious matter and I want Tiger and his family to know that I’m drinking to him….erm….I mean…. Praying for him,” Daly said.

“I’ve been in a few car accidents myself ya know.  Mostly when I was under the influence of alcohol or chicken wings,” Daly said.  “I just don’t want to see one of my colleagues get hurt out there.  These are my opponents, but they are also my co-workers and drinking buddies.  Well, I’ve never drank with Tiger before, but I think I might catch him soon.”

“People never seem to believe me when I say Tiger Woods is my colleague,” Daly said.  “What the hell?  Is my occupation not a golfer?  Does being a fat ass hole pay the bills?  No.  I can tell you first hand it doesn’t pay any bills.  No bills being paid.”

Woods was treated and released from a Florida hospital after crashing his SUV into a fire hydrant and tree early in the morning on Tuesday.  Police who first reported to the accident reported that no alcohol was involved.

“Hey do you think Tiger will hear about this interview?” Daly asked.  “He never has talked to me much.  Could you get this on ESPN?  I’d throw him my digits, but well, phone got turned off.”

“Emails no good for me either,” Daly confirmed.  “I lost my Thinkpad in a poker game and to be honest, they don’t allow me in the library anymore…. Any library really.  Just try to make sure Tiger hears about this.  And maybe ask him for a few dollars?”


Thanksgiving Hangover

Did my picks and a fake article about Kevin Youkilis yesterday.  You can see it at


As for football, I was not shocked, not shocked, and shocked respectively.  I figured the Packers would go out and beat a lousy Lions team.  I figured a talented Cowboys team would go out and beat a lousy Raiders team.  But with the clash of the Titans, Broncos vs Giants, I assumed a struggling Giants team would overcome a freefalling Broncos team.

But I was proved wrong, and I bet the game has season impacting implications.  That win thrust Denver to the 5th seed and all of a sudden look like a real playoff team.  They have defeated the Cowboys, Patriots, Giants, and Chargers this season and still have one game with the Raiders and two against the Chiefs in the coming weeks.  I figure it’s at least a 10 win season for the ponies which would likely be a playoff birth and the exceeding of every expectations put forth by Broncos fans this season.

As for the Giants, that loss was their fifth of the last six and after starting 5-0 they have fallen to a poultry 6-5.  In a division with the Cowboys and Eagles, and a conference where there is 6 or more teams seeking two wild card spots, I’m not sure we’re going to see the Giants in the postseason.  It’s obvious they are still very much in it, but if they continue playing like they have been playing then it wouldn’t matter, because they’d be one and done at best.

Lastly, the Raiders and Lions looked like teams prime for a top 10 pick in April

NFL Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving, and that can mean only one thing.  The Lions are on TV!

Oh yes, what a storied history it has been.  From…Mike McMahon?  to…. Joey Harrington?

Well that blog post didn’t turn out so good.  Happy thanksgiving, enjoy the football and food!

Joe Mauer?

Joe Mauer won the AL MVP yesterday.  Little early if you ask me, he won’t be playing for the Yankees for another couple of years when he was supposed to win his first.

No seriously, I would have loved to see Jeter and Tex take home the award, but the World Series was enough satisfaction for me.  Next year when we repeat I’ll start to get a little more greedy about it and just want a clean sweep.  AL Cy Young, AL MVP, AL Manager of the Year, AL Rookie of the Year, and NL MVP.  Those, amongst others, are all going to be won by Yankees next year, so prepare  yourselves accordingly.

11/19/09 New Update


New Update!  Week 11 picks and a fictional story featuring the Kansas City Royals.  Riveting stuff, I know.  Enjoy!





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Blogs are a necessary evil in today’s world for writers.  While I didn’t want t fall into the trap, my journalism professors have advised me to do so.  Whatever doesn’t make the final cut for my Tuesday publication of my real site,, might appear on here.  That applies to both random sports thoughts, and hilarious fictional stories.

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The Sports Meister